Thursday, September 1, 2011

Take Heart

It's been an interesting month or two, ones that have landed my head in many different places. All places have been good to go, to explore and to really ponder. Some that have been familiar to me in the past, and some unfamiliar.

My most intense and scary place is thinking about and considering my future. You see, I have been the person that has jumped on board any adventure that I could, if an opportunity was presented, then I took it - of course I considered and weighed my options, you'd be foolish not to. But this space is different, it is full of the unknown, of really heavy considerations for life in my future, of what that may look like in my 30s, and how I want to set myself up for that now. I want to be flexible, still able to jump on board adventures, I want a sustainable career, I want to not be bored and complacent, I want to be able to give and be generous with all that I am and have, and I want to be able to be secure and comfortable.

I have been asking myself what the priorities are for me in life. How are they different from what they were 5 years ago and how might that be different in 5 years time? It's a crazy thought this future thing, and it has spun me out a little bit. I am glad I have not had my head in that cloud before because it's hard - it's hard to predict life and its paths and journeys that you encounter. I don't think we really can predict, but I'm thinking more and more that we can plan.

PLANNING. I thought I finished with the whole teacher thing? I didn't think I had to have a plan for every day anymore, or every semester or year. I don't want to plan, never have, and have always hated it. I'm a 'fly by the seat of my pants' girl, and the good old kiwi attitude of 'winging it'. But, I'm just not sure it's going to cut it anymore. I don't think I can just 'wing' this thing called life.

So as I am trawling through options that I have for my life and future, I just guess I have to take heart, and be secure that it will all be worked out in the end. I have complete faith and security that life will be good, fun and full, but it's the in-between areas that I am not so secure in. What do I dive into next week and next year? I mean, I have no clue.

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