This process and journey back to London has been like one of those exciting but furiously tantalizing moments when you're standing at the ice-cream store as a little kid being promised something so delicious, but having to wait for what seems like an eternity for it.
You pull your face up close to the ice-cream counter, deliberate over all of your choices and eventually, after your dad pressures you to hurry up, you make a selection of only one, how do you narrow it down like that? Despite your curiosity of other flavours, and desperately wanting to try them, you can never go past your favourite and ask for that one. You can see the store person scooping up that delicious Hokey Pokey (had to have kiwiana) and plonking it in the cone, you hope and pray that they give you a really, really big scoop, but you're too embarrassed to ask, so you just look up with your big puppy dog eyes and hope that they see you, succumb to the look of desperation, and add another. The ice-cream is so close, you see it dripping off the cone in the hot summer day, but, it is still so far. You can see it just in front of you, and almost touch it and taste it, but it's not quite yours, until the glorious moment happens when they pass it over and you skip out of the shop without a care in the world.
I've felt like that so much lately in life, how do I choose out of all these options? How do I wait so patiently for my ice-cream to be rolled and put on the cone? At last, this ice-cream is mine. I have it in my hand and it is the sweetest, most delicious Hokey Pokey ice-cream I have ever tasted (probably Kapiti or something). I have been waiting for this for months, and now that it is here, and now that I am consuming it, I am skipping around without a care in the world...
You know, for me, I have almost put this expectation on God that He is my ice-cream shop owner and I am just waiting, so desperately, for him to give me a really giant scoop of all things good. I am happy, over the moon, with being able to be back in London, but would just like that added scoop please? So I look up with my big puppy dog eyes, and hope and pray that He sees me, but never really just be frank and ask for my extra scoop...isn't that kinda rude? Or so that's what my Mum always told me.
But I seem to think that there are different rules for God the ice-cream shop owner. I mean sure, things aren't always served to us in nice yummy scoops with a waffle cone and chocolate topping, but surely we can just ask. Isn't that the point in God being God?
So here, today, I find myself not only looking up with eyes that will melt His heart, but with sweet words of pleading for my extra scoop on life.
Actually, there's more than just one scoop that I want right now - but for this moment my added scoop that I really need is a job and some money. It's not too much to ask for, but in a way, I feel like I already have my delicious scoop of London, I just need the more. The more is just to enjoy the first better.
I arrived back in London 4 days ago and I felt like I have arrived 'home', which seems to be anywhere for me, but for now, my heart is here and therefore, my home. Getting back on the Underground Tube with my two suitcases from Heathrow airport never felt so good, it didn't matter to me that I had to lug them up and down multitudes of stairs or that no one even offered to help, because, I was home. I waited in one of the longest customs lines that I have ever seen (and I've done my fair share of traveling), but, it did not phase me, because I was home.
There is just a feeling of deep satisfaction and a knowing that life is about to get really great, maybe to a degree of greatness that I have never experienced before. That is my hope, that is my dream.
What ever it is that is waiting ahead for me, I am ready, I am excited and I want to rip it out of the hands of the ice-cream store owner and delve into it with the enthusiasm of a 6 year old.