Imagine That.

I know it's been forever since I wrote, but this has very much been on my mind and heart so thought I'd share it. 

I guess I've been thinking a lot about the potential and what we, us, as mere humans, can create...

Imagine a place where you attend, where you participate and where there is freedom for God to move. Where people are not selfish in their desires and enter with an open mind. Imagine a place where people leave their intentions at the door and their preferences and go with an open heart to receive from people and God. Imagine walking into a door where people are glad to see you, and you're glad to see them. Imagine sharing a meal with people you actually like regardless of the choices they make because you've chosen to love as Christ does, pure and blameless, holding no inequities over them and looking at them with unobstructed lenses. Imagine laughing and your kids laughing and enjoying the spirit and atmosphere of the place and people that they, in collaboration with God, create. Imagine a place where you are free to cry and someone comes and puts an arm around you. They don't need to say anything, they're just there. If you want to share you can, if you don't then you don't. They put their hand on you and pray blessings and honour into your life where you feel crushed and burdened and you can't breathe. Imagine another person embracing someone because they're celebrating. Imagine a place where those things exist - the community that God intends for us. The kingdom of God in its fullness, everyone participating and being free to be themselves in Christ. Everyone taking up a part because it is natural and feels good and right. Imagine a place where everyone is celebrated and appreciated for their gifts and strengths, and where people feel they can practise love, kindness, gentleness, self control and all the other fruits of the spirit. And when they get it wrong, or mess up a little then people don't condemn but spur them on and come alongside. Imagine a place where the message that is shared is embraced, thought about, prayed for and mulled over. Imagine inviting the message and God into your life for the week to change you and make you new. No matter how simple it seems, that everyone comes with an attitude of openness to hear something new from Christ. Imagine a place where forgiveness is practised and through practising forgiveness we are able to fully embrace Christs forgiveness in our own lives. Imagine a place where we get to see God move without limits. Imagine a place where miracles and mercies flow every moment. 

Now imagine a place that people don't like each other. That everyone attends with their own agendas. And when their agendas don't get met, they get pissed and leave. Imagine a place where we sing to Christ but its not good enough because it didn't come 'out of a pure heart' or 'didn't sound good this week'. Imagine a place where people criticise each other based on them not 'working or doing' good enough. Imagine a place where people criticise what is being spoken instead of embracing the truth of the message that is shared - no matter how it is presented. Imagine people thinking that others aren't good enough Christians because they're not on the same seeking journey as them. Imagine knowing that someone is annoyed with you when you turn up to church but there is not the forgiving environment where you can sort it out. Imagine a place where forgiveness is not practised. Imagine a place where bitterness and selfishness reign rather than the fruits of the spirit. Imagine a place where people pick and choose what they want to participate in, what they can be bothered doing, what they think is valuable and casting judgement on the rest. 

I'm not saying its easy. But I am saying its a choice. I'm not preaching from the converted but I'm coming from a place of working on it too. My finger, it likes to point and it likes to blame but I know I have many areas that I need grace, help and love in. 

So what are you going to choose? You have the power to choose life over death, freedom over shackles and the kingdom over darkness. It's all a choice. Not an easy one, but one that will change you to be more like Christ and in turn, the people around you. 

Imagine that. 

Friends...Amazing Friends

My great friends Dave, Michelle, Ollie and Charlie Mollard make the local news again. You can read it here (I screenshot the news article so don't click on that - I'm not that clever to know how to make that a link!).

You can read their blog Mollards India Journey.

It's a short and fun read...they are great at not telling huge long, boring stories like me so I know you'll love it.

C x

Contentment vs Satisfaction

My heart has toiled for years for the church. For many years I was in a church that was beautiful, until it wasn't. It 'wasn't' anymore because suddenly I had changed - I had grown, matured. No longer was I a babe suckling milk, and no longer was I satisfied with swallowing things hook, line and sinker and taking them at face value. I had an urge, a desire to be part of something greater. I had questions and more questions that weren't getting answered, and the further that I grew to believe what is (or should be) right about the church is the further that I grew from being aligned with the vision of the house that I was planted in.

I have a great love for the kingdom of God. I believe it is the only answer to humanities hurts and needs. Funnily enough (given my participation in church the last year or so), I also believe wholeheartedly that the church is the answer, even in its 'still working it out stage'. I have spent years, literally, reading the New testament to try and gain some insight to how the church should look, act and be. The short answer is that I still don't know. The long answer, I'm sure is to come. But one truth that I know is that Christ loves the church, and I do too, the collective body of Christ is a force to be reckoned with...

What I've realised in the last few weeks is that my spirit is not satisfied. It never has been. I have, ever since the day I met Christ, not been satisfied with my life, realising my goals, my dreams, with church, and with relationships. Now, don't get me wrong - it's not a negative thing. There have been times that I have been content, where I have been happy to be in places for seasons and had the joy of that contentment...but still with this rising dissatisfaction pushing up from within.

I think that contentment can breed complacency if we're not careful. Complacency looks like a dirty stagnant pond to me and it smells funny. It scares me.

Dissatisfaction if propelled in the right direction, breeds change, momentum, movement. That doesn't scare me.

For most people it is the flip - they're quite happy with the contentment of life, happy to be where they are, comfortable, they don't enjoy change or uncertainty. For what ever reason, the way that God has wired me is that of - what I'm now going to call - dissatisfaction.

It is freeing for me to finally be able to put a word on the constant plight of my spirit. And to feel like it is not a bad thing - but a good thing. A really good thing. I would often, throughout the years, feel bad for never being happy and content with where I am. It never seems enough for me, and always desire the 'next'. But because I am not career driven, it never made any sense to me why I would crave more and have this internal feeling. I don't want to succeed for mans approval - that is the last of my concerns, in fact, I don't even want to 'succeed' as such (insert worlds view of success). So this constant need of more is not flesh driven - but spiritually, it is so clear to me now.

I am not satisfied, because He is not. If He was, this world would not exist anymore.

I now know that it is okay to not be satisfied, but along with that comes certain responsibility.

Any thoughts?

Kick in the Right Direction.

The kick up the bum that I so deserve. It has been a long time coming. I have sensed it somewhere in the depths of my heart that I have been choosing to ignore. I have felt the gentle (not!) tugging at me to get my crap sorted out, then a couple of weeks ago all the building and leading got too much and I had to share something with precious people that I had been hiding under a bowl for a very, very long time. Then this last week I went to a conference and the resounding word that came out of it was 'study'. Study, study, study. As if I didn't know already that I needed to. I have been slack in my following of Jesus, I have been slack in what I do with my time and it has been going on for a long while. Sure, I love Him. I follow Him, I breathe and speak Him, but sadly, confessing-ly, it has been nothing but religious banter because I have not STUDIED. Shesh. Kick, Up, The, Bum. It has really caused me to reflect again on who I am. What I'm doing, where I'm going, my place in the world, and to seriously consider the answer to those questions.   One of my colleagues accused me of being 'gifted' today. As in the type that teachers label as 'gifted and talented'. I hate that label, and I refuse to use it, and hate it even more when parents come to me telling me that they have a gifted child. Yes, we get it, you love your child, you think it is the most precious thing on the planet, but seriously? Gifted? He eats paper and makes farting sounds on his arm. NOT gifted. I am the epitome of the saying 'Jack of all Trades'. I guess that's why I'm a primary school teacher - I can do many things averagely which is a good thing for my job. I think I am anything but gifted. But this is what I do know: Words plague me at midnight and I have to write like its an obsession that I can't get off my brain until it is satisfied; my desperate need for change is something greater than my constant (fleshy) boredom; my global obsessions are purposed; and that my expectations far exceed what is possible. Those are character traits that make me who I am. I can't imagine why it is needed in this world, but for some reason God packaged me up in a not so neat or little frame and gave me life. I can't imagine what it is like to be God. I don't even want to pretend that I understand because it will just be offensive. But what I do know is that it is an absolute privilege to know His unending love and grace. I guess it's my turn to once again start taking that seriously and start not only being thankful (which we all do so well when things are going great!) but proactive, forward thinking, believing, and preparing. So, for the remainder of the year I am going to set up my lifestyle of study. I am going to study a theme - GRACE. I will read all there is to read on grace in the Word, and in blogs and in books. Does anyone want to join me on this crusade? I endeavor to not just be a consumer and to get serious.

Lots of Thinking.

Hey friends.

It has been a while since I posted anything of worth and I am excited about having a two week break so that I can actually write some words. I am heading to Sydney on Tuesday and then Melbourne  later that week, so I am looking forward to the friends that I get to see and have coffee, lunch and dinner with and the change in scenery.

But I have been thinking a lot lately. A lot of 'What If's' really.

What really got me thinking was the release of the new iPad and thinking about how disposable new technology is to the first world. Something new comes out and we go and get it - it is both exciting and sickening to me. I admit that I buy into the hype of new technology because secretly I'm a geek and love it, but my wounded heart finds it so hard to stomach. It is insane to me that we go and update our apple products with every release even when the old one isn't broken - it's just not new. Of course, I'm not speaking about people I know because that just doesn't happen in my world of people, but it does happen a lot.

Then, I read a blog post by my wonderful friends, Dave and Michelle and their 2 kiddos Olivia and Charlie, who are working in India and have committed to working there till mid 2014! Their blog is http://mollysindiatrip.tumblr.com/ (FYI).

Anyways, Dave wrote this about a month ago:


"We have decided to buy an iPad to be used at the project. The children need to get familiar with the latest technology.  Learning on 10 year equipment is setting them up to be 10 years behind the rest of the world."

IT'S. SO. TRUE.

When I was in India, there was virtually no technology available to children, let alone children from the slums. Them seeing cameras from the white guys pointing them towards them were as technical as things got.

So again, it got me thinking. What If?

What if we, instead of selling our old stuff, or passing them on to the children to use (and really - does every child need their own personal device?!). But what if we passed them on to a great ministry, in a developing country to get some good use out of them and start building into their future, not 10 years back to the past?

I agree with Dave.

I also think that we have to set people up for success. It's great donating our old things that we no longer want or require, but is sending over 10 year old equipment the best for them? I don't believe so, I also don't think it sends a message of value. But, that's another story.

So what is a way that we can gather our old (but not that old) technology, get it all nice, refurbish it maybe, and send it to a place that needs it?

What are some places that might need it?

The world is global and we are all in different places, but I think that we could get something done, don't you?!

Birthday Wish

A week or two ago I pledged to WaterForward - a fantastic initiative by Charity:Water.

It works like the 'pay it forward' idea - I buy 'spaces' for $10 each, all of that money goes towards building wells and providing clean and safe drinking water to communities around the world that currently don't have it. The idea is that 5 of my friends fill those spaces that I paid for - and they each buy some more spaces to pass on to their friends.

5 seemed like a good number to me. It was easy - I only had to contribute $50, and with no job I felt like that was a sacrifice, but one that I was totally ready and eager to make. If I passed on 5 spaces, and each of my friends passed on 5 spaces - that meant that I would be initiating $250 worth of fundraising for water. I like that idea.

But, I keep getting these emails from WaterForward to say that my 5 spaces have not yet been filled. That makes me so sad. This isn't a manipulative attempt to all get you to fill those spaces. I just thought that when I emailed out the request, that 5 spaces would have been easily filled. I thought, "Man, I wish I was in a position to give more, because those 5 spaces are not enough".

I guess I was wrong. Yes, it makes me sad, but I know that I have people in my world who are already world changers - they influence the people they are with, they love deeply, give freely. I know from the bottom of my heart that it would have just slipped peoples thoughts, but really - I'm urging you...this is important. I don't need to remind you of what it means when people don't have clean water, because you all already know.

So. As some of you know - it was my birthday yesterday/today depending where in the world you are. This is my feeble attempt at asking you to give to this initiative as a birthday gift to me, and really think about who you can pass on this water space to - someone who will be excited about the concept.

Here's the link http://c.wtr.cc/c/jJJvo

Fulfilling Requests

I've had a few requests over the last little while to write some about my time in the USA. I discovered a draft post in the multitudes of posts that I have began, and never ended so I thought I would post that, and add to it.

I titled it: For the Love of America...

It has been a fast 2 and 1/2 months...full of adventure, full of processing, full of preparing and full of learning.

Friends and family continue to amaze me with their continual love, devotion, sacrifice and patience. I don't understand why God graced me so abundantly with placing these incredible people in my life, but He did, and I am thankful beyond words.

Alan and Cameron, who house and feed me and invite me into their chaotic and fun world, with 4 kids full of life, do much more than just give me a room. They show me Jesus. They spiral me into a deeper world of thought, love and Gods redeeming grace. I can't imagine how life would look if they simply didn't continue to be available for me coming, to rest, to rejuvenate and to replenish my soul.

Mama and Papa, Cam's parents who live next door are like people you can only imagine in some type of dream. Their sweets spirits full of Jesus make me want to be just like them when I grow up. They are towers of strength through trying circumstances, they are full of joy in all things, they 'are' (as in their whole being) wisdom, and they have lovingly adopted me into their family and embraced me like I can only liken my daddy in heaven embracing me.

Gorgeous friends Jenny and Eric, Kelly and Chris, Miller and D who I love dearly and who I cherish every spare moment they can give me...everyone else in the valley that I have met, old and new, over the past 10 years that I have gotten to know and love and value who they are, what they do and where their lives are going. There are people with such passion, love and commitment to Jesus. People who desire intimacy and community with each other and won't settle for the complacency that sometimes life brings. People who stretch and grow me to where it's uncomfortable, but to where God is calling me.

I just cherish this place. For the people, for the memories, for that 'secret place' of mine that it has become. 

There are now less than 2 weeks that I get to spend here, and as my time is drawing to an end, I know in my heart that it is time to move on to the next adventure, challenge and blessing, and then to the next, and to the next...but sometimes, I wish that I could just settle here. My heart is content here, I love it here, but for now, it is not where God is calling me.

Next : Who knows?!

SO....

That was where my heart was a couple weeks before heading back here to New Zealand. Seriously - I mean every word. 

Now for my favorite moments in pictures...these things really blessed me. 

Meeting Pate, enjoying her and watching her grow.

 Giving this thing a whirl...

 Crazy Nettie May and her Christmas gifts.

 Papa Santa.

 Christmas story by these little cuties...

 Papa narrating the Christmas story.

 Meeting the international students and getting to hang out with them every week. Lots of fun! 

 Introducing my great friend Fatih from Turkey to the snow and mountains.

 These guys...

 Endless beauty.

 Pate times. 

 Skiing with internationals - their first time! 

 Snowmobiling in fresh powder with possibly the coolest kid on the planet. 

 Coffee, sun and fun with my favorite conversationalist! 

 Spa day with the ladies! 

 Watching these little people grow up...

 'Walking on water' - watching the kite boarders out on the lake. 

 More fun with the internationals. 

 Martini night with my good friend Jen! 

 Fresh Meat. 

 Fun ice skating with the whole family.